n a lark, the guys in the house decide to have a contest to determine whose manhood is the longest. Unfortunately, Franco and a girlfriend run into a little trouble as they take his measurements. Tommy's Dad calls looking for something to calm the monkey down. Turns out Uncle Teddy won a monkey over a baseball bet, and now the two grown men don't know what to do with the crazy primate. Janet tells Tommy that Colleen has been suspended from school for making out in the hallway with her girlfriend. Tommy is comforted by the fact that at least Colleen isn't with the Murphy kid anymore. Tommy accompanies Sheila to a party and tries to convince everyone that they're not dating.

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